u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
