I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It was confusing and full of hummus
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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