One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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