Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
