Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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