i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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