If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't think brook has ever known best
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
