I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
