great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize