i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
