I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
