how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I would fuck him just for his dog
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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