My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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