I am puke
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i wish my penis had a tongue
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Success! We fucked roommates!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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