The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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