I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
