a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
