That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
