I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
