Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
