when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
