I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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