I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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