I hate all girls vehemently.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
