And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
