worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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