yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
