Cold hands, warm shart.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
