During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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