wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
