i already hear my dad disowning me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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