she told me i tasted like america
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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