Having a random hookup so left but love u
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
