But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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