College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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