David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
