So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
