If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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