I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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