Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
