operation have a gay friend backfired
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
