singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
