was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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