Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
