wat bout pragnant strippers??
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize