i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
