Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
