Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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