i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
