she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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