Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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