belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
