How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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