Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think i peed on brittanys purse
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
