rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
