just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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