TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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