How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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