physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
