Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm passing your future prison.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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