how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
