i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
